Pay For Your Past Bills

When bills are dueA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

Owing you money funny facebookThe next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

 

 

Source – http://www.anyjokes.net/office-jokes/pay-for-your-past-bills/

What Not to Say in an Interview

Short term goalA guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The man says “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t give a sh*t what you think!”

 

Source – http://www.jokes-best.com/work-office-jokes.php

Oldest Profession

Dr Engineer LawyerA doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were discussing which of them belonged to the oldest of the three professions they represented.

The doctor said, “On the sixth day, God took a rib from Adam and created Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”

The engineer replied, “Ah, but before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, thus making Him the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine.”
Lawyer A“Yes,” the lawyer said, “but just who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”

 

 

 

Source – http://www.anyjokes.net/category/funny-jokes/page/3/

Boss and Employee on Salary Increment

Salary increase 1One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re $ pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
———— ——— ——— ——— ——-
Salary increase 2The next day, the employee received this letter:

Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager

 

Source – http://www.managementparadise.com/forums/laughter-accelerated-just-chill/69142-hr-jokes.html

Succession Planning

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day, the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”

 
It wasnt meThree months down the road there is major drama in the office and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says “Blame your predecessor!” He does this and gets off the hook.

 

 

OrganisationAbout half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize!” He starts to reorganize and the company quickly rebounds.

 

Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says “Prepare three envelopes.”
Succession plan 4

 

Source – http://albertaventure.com/2013/11/office-approved-jokes/