Pay For Your Past Bills

When bills are dueA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

Owing you money funny facebookThe next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

 

 

Source – http://www.anyjokes.net/office-jokes/pay-for-your-past-bills/

Oldest Profession

Dr Engineer LawyerA doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were discussing which of them belonged to the oldest of the three professions they represented.

The doctor said, “On the sixth day, God took a rib from Adam and created Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”

The engineer replied, “Ah, but before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, thus making Him the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine.”
Lawyer A“Yes,” the lawyer said, “but just who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”

 

 

 

Source – http://www.anyjokes.net/category/funny-jokes/page/3/

The Paper Shredder

A young executive is leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?”

“Certainly,” the young executive says. He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button.

Looking shocked“Excellent, excellent!” says the CEO as his paper disappears inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”

 

 

 

Source – http://albertaventure.com/2013/11/office-approved-jokes/

Hot Shot

telephone-cartoonA young businessman had just started his own firm.

He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Hoping to look like a hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working on a big, important business deal.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”oops

 

Source – http://albertaventure.com/2013/11/office-approved-jokes/

Salary Negotiations

HR-Special-drive-slowly-dont-kill-employees (1)Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The Engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 (N24,875,000) a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of five-week’s vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 percent of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”

Source – http://www.freemaninstitute.com/hrhumor.htm