Pay For Your Past Bills

When bills are dueA customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

Owing you money funny facebookThe next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”

 

 

Source – http://www.anyjokes.net/office-jokes/pay-for-your-past-bills/

The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks him to choose one.

The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?”

The assistant replies that it costs $2,000. The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. “This parrot is a very special one. He can type really fast.”
I am not bossy“What about the green one?” the man asks. “He costs $5,000 because he can type, answer incoming phone calls and takes notes.”

“What about the red one?” the man asks. The assistant says, “That one’s $10,000.”

Curious, the man asks, “What does he do?” The assistant says, “I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”

 

Source – http://albertaventure.com/2013/11/office-approved-jokes/

Day Off

boss-and-employee-cartoonAn employee goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” says the employee “I knew I could count on you!”

 

Source – http://www.anyjokes.net/office-jokes/must-help-the-wife/

Funny Human Resources Story

A big steel company was feeling it was time for a shakeup so they hired a new head of human resources.  Well, the new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, this HR supremo noticed a guy leaning against a wall.  The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business; so he asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $500 a week. Why?”

The Human Resources boss said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $2,000 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself, the new boss looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”

From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

 

Source – Guy Sports